(Source: dgloveraintnothingtofuckwith, via ilovefitzgerald)
(Source: jorahborealis, via alliseeisroad)
(x)
(Source: feyminism, via glorious-curls)
Les Mis Meme: 1/3 Parallels
(via lokilordofdickery)
Whenever you tell the box office person “you too” after they tell you to enjoy the show
Yeah, you’re not the first person to do that. It’s not that funny to us anymore.
I think if a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all they’d have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit I’m gonna go see why it isn’t working
touch my wifi you asshole and i wont be the one whos getting murdered tonight
(via howtobottlefame)
who the f are the lumineers? what is this proto-mumford trend? why does everyone play banjos? what year is it? who won the civil war
(via glorious-curls)
I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY STRAW
(Source: forlackofabettercomic, via howtobottlefame)
Customer Fails #1
- Customer: *Walks up*
- Me: Hi! How can I help you? *Actually smiles at them because me shift just started and I don't hate humanity yet*
- Customer: *Waves a credit card in my face* Two.
- Me: *Not taking the card* Two...?
- Customer: *Waves card harder and raises voice like I can't speak English* TWO.
- Me: Two what sir? (Drinks? Popcorns? Tickets? Babies?)
- Customer: Oh... Two tickets
- Me: For?
- Customer: *Looks at me like I'm stupid* No, Two.
- Me: FOR WHAT MOVIE????
- Customer: Oh... Um.... *Takes five minutes to remember what movie*
- Me: (in my mind) Why me?
